Book Summary Continued…
Jessica has occasionally likened herself to a marathon runner, and like a marathoner, she possesses a tolerance for pain, isolation, and deferred gratification that a spectator may confuse for masochism. If she drops out of the race, then, it is not because a boulder fell on her head, but because she has been plodding for twenty miles with the same pebble in her shoe. Jessica would not quit her job, no matter how painful its conditions were, if she believed she was failing. Jessica could resign only from a position of success. So as abject and enraged as Jessica now feels, she still cannot utter the oath of departure. There are still tasks to be completed. There are still futures to be arranged.
Jessica thinks of a metaphor of a leaving train to describe her struggle for her senior students’ access to higher education. She sees them all running toward a leaving train, grasping at its closing door and charging down the tracks in pursuit, missing it barely at a second station and a third. She sees herself running with them, watching the caboose light grow more and more distant, and then watching it come closer with the train stopped at the next station. She sees her student scramble aboard safely now, sees them totter down the aisle looking for seats. She sees herself stand between the rails, lungs beating like bellows, as the train churns away. What incredible kids! Had she ever had a more amazing bunch of seniors? If leaving Seward Park might ever feel a little easier, it will after seeing this group off. Now she can begin thinking about herself. Now she can board her own leaving train. Ms. Jessica Siegel leaves Seward Park High School to pursue a career in journalism.
Adapted from: Samuel G. Freedman, Small Victories, 1991.